Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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