You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
