your thong is hanging out like whoa
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
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