you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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