We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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