He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
