it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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