How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
