Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
