Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
