i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
