I'm gonna have a badass scar
You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
My first STD was from a foam party
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
that may or may not have been my penis.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
