That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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