do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
