You can't special order awesome
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
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