Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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