Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
