Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
