Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Randomize
