Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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