Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
