is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
