There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
