Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
