Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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