i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
