Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Panties = found
Randomize
