yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
