Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize