he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
I could have mohawked her pubes.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
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