i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
