the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Drake has all the answers
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
