I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
