there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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