Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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