Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
