He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
