my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Randomize
