last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
