wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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