i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize