when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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