i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
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She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
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You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
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