Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
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