who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
