Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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