Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.