Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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