Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
and eventually we just all took our pants off
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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