I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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