dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
