The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
