3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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