Screwed.edu
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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