you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
