I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Randomize