theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
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