I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
So much Jack, so little girl.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
