I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
